Painting after years of false starts

I'm afraid they're going to keep rising to the surface until you deal with them in some way. How you deal with them is entirely up to you.

For example, I used to have these dreams where I'm back in school. I'm there, I know, because I 'failed to learn something' the first time around. Over and over, I had this dream. It drove me nuts.

For a while, I refused to think about what these dreams meant. I just wanted them to stop. Eventually, I had to confront them or suffer through these dreams for the rest of my life.

So one night I had a dream where I'm back in school, sitting there, trying to learn something I forgot to learn. It pissed me off so much that I stood up in the middle of the classroom and yelled, 'SCREW THIS! I'm dropping out of school!'

I ran to the principle's office and I said, 'I don't want to be here anymore. I'm dropping out. Whatever I failed to learn

Yesterday I bought and stretched canvas. I'm on my way. If anyone would like to email me, I need all the support I can get! ( :

LOL! I think you are right.

I would suggest, rather than starting on canvas and oil, to do some pencil, pen or charcoal drawings, some pastel sketches or acrylic {or oil} on board. These are all quick and get you into the rhythm without having any fear you will 'waste' a canvas. I have, by the way, been away from pastels for quite some time, this last few days I have used pastel on large masonite boards and been very pleased with the results, the tooth is brilliant!

Alternatively, if you need the preparation time to get your mind in tune, then get a set of Chinese brushes, make your own ink and produce some sketches that way.

says...

I suspect that self-criticism has been taken too seriously in this case. One has to maintain an ability to laugh at oneself to balance the need for perfection some people seem to get so hung up on. Artists universally are always looking for their 'masterpiece' and it's always NOT the work just completed or working. So one has to balance the 'need to succeed' with the need to have fun in the process.

Absolutely! Though, it can't logically be the case that the masterpiece is never the work just completed for all artists, or there would never be any.

This painting I'm working on doesn't look like anything I've done before. I'm not saying this is good or bad, but it's different so I'm lured into feeling its a new start. this makes it easier to proceed (because I'm so curious!) I was really inspired by the idea of the mind as already working things through- that I might be in some different place now. This is exciting and frightening. I'm really hoping to keep getting encouragement to keep going. I really don't want to stop and start all over again. I'm just beginning to 'wake up' the self I shut down.

So true! Part of what I'm trying to do is allow myself to use any images...whatever wants to come up....hell...I ended up with a pair of scissors with cloudy handles in my painting last night ??????!!!!!!!! Trust me...I don't know what's going on. Best of all, I'm trying to just stay with it and ease up. With the self-promise: 'I can get more serious next time'. Maybe I'll just keep having fun, imagine!